Michael and Sofia were high school sweethearts who seemed to have it all figured out. They fell in love quickly, aligned their plans for college, and tied the knot at 26. Fast forward ten years: they owned not 1 but 2 beautiful homes and were raising three kids, with a fourth on the way. But beneath the surface, their relationship was struggling.

As Sofia sat in my office during the intake session, she spoke of the emotional distance that had crept into their marriage. “Michael is depressed, and it feels like we’re not connected anymore,” she shared, her voice filled with anxiety. It was clear that something deeper was at play.

Two sessions in, Michael revealed a heartbreaking secret to me without Sofia present: he had been having an affair for the past nine months and hadn’t found the courage to end it or tell his pregnant wife. “I have no idea what I want,” he admitted, visibly torn between two worlds—one with Sofia and their family, and another with his affair partner, Ana.

What struck me most was Michael’s bravery in sharing such a painful paradox. He was ready for help, ready to change. And because he wasn’t sure what he wanted, he had no idea where to start. Over the next few weeks, we navigated the complexities of his emotions, exploring what it would mean to disclose the affair to Sofia. His indecisiveness about wanting to reconcile or separate was palpable, so we focused on creating a safe space for both of them - to share the truths that neither wanted to face.

When the moment came for Michael to tell Sofia about his affair, it marked a turning point. I supported Sofia through one of the most traumatic experiences a romantic partner can face—realizing that the marriage she thought was stable had been unraveling for much longer than she knew. “Have I been lying to myself?” She whispered at the end of an emotional session. Betrayal trauma is a very complex type of pain that Sofia felt unequipped to handle.

Four months into therapy, Michael chose to try & reconcile with Sofia, cutting all ties with Ana. He couldn’t guarantee that this decision wouldn’t later change but he was beginning to feel that his connection with Ana was more about the disconnection he had with himself. Despite this step from Micheal, Sofia was stuck in the pressure society places on women to be independent and to “not look like a fool.” She was convinced that welcoming him back into her emotional world was the wrong choice.

We challenged Sofia to see Michael’s commitment to their family, despite his mistakes. He showed up to therapy every week, demonstrating his willingness to sit in Sophia’s pain with her. He began to work with a skilled individual therapist who supported him in uncovering the depth of his unhappiness and to reach a final conclusion on the relationships he was torn between.

In the following year, we worked together weekly, diving deep into their emotional experiences rather than merely focusing on decisions or their interactions. I introduced them to the science of emotional attachment, helping them understand the roots of their disconnection. We mapped their conflict pattern so each of them could see how they had been hurting one another for a long time. For Sofia, Micheal’s betrayal triggered old wounds from childhood abandonment, leading her to question her worth.

In the middle of it all, they welcomed their baby boy, and we navigated the hormonal and emotional chaos that came with it. I guided Sofia to honor her feelings rather than suppress them, processing her hurt and fear of the unknown. This type of trauma-focused therapy regulates the nervous system in times of crisis.

“Why would I stay with the man who broke me?” She once asked. We continued to unpack the aftermath of the affair. Slowly but surely, Sofia learned that Michael hadn’t broken her. Through our work together she discovered her unbreakable strength - that on her own she was a highly capable person who loved herself so fiercely that she now trusted her intuition in preventing this type of betrayal from happening to her again. Step by step, Sofia and Micheal began to find new love and new trust for one another. Sofia recognized that her anxiety about being “perfect” and “doing it all” had unintentionally pushed Michael away, while Michael began to embrace accountability through the shame he felt for inflicting so much trauma on their family.

We focused on rebuilding their relationship as a team. They learned to communicate openly, gaining tangible tools from me that have been proven effective through scientific research. The couple nurtured the marriage by building a type of authentic honesty unknown to their partnership before our work together.

Today, Michael and Sofia are thriving. They have transformed their relationship into one filled with passionate intimacy and resilience. While their path with me has ended, their story is a powerful reminder that healing is possible, even when we can’t see our way out of the pain.

All personal details of this story have been altered to protect client anonymity.